Sunday, August 24, 2008

Random Thoughts...sort of

I love my children.

I love to cradle them in my arms as they sleep, press them against my chest, and kiss their downy, soft cheeks.

This IS happiness.

It's funny how one can be happy and sad at the same time.

This is something I've tried to explain to my son to no avail.

Just because mommy is angry doesn't mean that mommy has stopped loving you.

One emotion does not cancel out another.

He will learn in time.

I am tired.

Tending to my children at night further tires me.

Nonetheless, I feel honored to be the one comforting them at night.

I wish for many more.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Want Not

Dammit. I found a job. I was looking, but really trying not to find one, because really, all I want to do is stay home with my wee ones. Too bad my bank account was screaming at me to filler up. We have been so out of money these days, I have been getting my shopping fix during these depressing times by sliding my pretend credit card in my kid's pretend cash register that also doubles as a calculator and has pretend green money. I just stop over to their pretend bookstore and request some cash back, and soon I am off with a few 20's in my pocket buying some books. Yet, even in this store I can afford very little since my son prices his books at such exorbitant prices. If all else fails, I just charge it. Slide. Beep. Aaaah.

My new job will require much of my attention, since I will venture once again to teach 6th graders, but this time in a middle school setting- something I've avoided at all costs since I started teaching. Luckily, it is in a really good district with high performing students, but in the end it really doesn't matter. A 6th grader is a 6th grader is a 6th grader. At least by 6th grade, they have gotten over the initial shock from their sudden increase in hormones. If anybody thinks 6th graders are difficult, they should really try teaching 5th grade. They are really at their best the first eight years at about 3rd and 4th grade.

I love teaching, and I am excited to have my own classroom once again, but I am not looking forward to being away from my kids for most of the day. On the plus side, working away from them can have the bonus effect of making me into a better mother. Maybe, it's just because I miss them. Maybe it's that I finally have time to talk to other adults- sort of. Maybe, it's the guilt of being away, or maybe it's just that I have more money in my pocket. I will just have to look forward to Labor Day, Thanksgiving Break, Holiday Break, Winter Break (and no, this is not the same as the previous one, this happens in February), Spring Break, etc. to spend time with them ALL most of the day.