Synopsis of 1700 Miles Traveled

3 days, two kids, one mini van, one truck, and three adults all stuck in a moving vehicle or nonsmoking but still smoked in motel room

A midnight swim in a pool and spa by fully clothed adults and naked children

A trip to a Mexican restaurant led to an immediate rush to a toilet that thankfully only needed one trip to the toilet for the situation to be remedied.

Previous trip to the bathroom lead to sore intestines, gas, and a hesitation to eat anything solid.

Miles and miles and miles of desert.

I've seen all the cactus I need to see, thank you.

Frequent rest stops for potty breaks led to having boy pee in an empty Gatorade bottle - fluid in, fluid out.

When older boy was not peeing in bottle, he was peeing on my leg as I tried to fly him over toilet seats cleaned only once a millennium.

There was much eating of fishies, Cheez-its, and Mexican food.

Lots and Lots of videos played over and over and over again - most notably Thomas and Stewart Little with a sprinkle of the Simpsons.

Occasional blood curdling screaming coming from the rear punctuated by kicking and flying objects.

Some swear words were spoken and threats delivered and not just by the adults.

According to the boy, I should be reported to the police for having him restrained in his seat for three days.

I can't blame him.

Overall, an okay trip considering the circumstances. We made it physically intact, if not mentally intact thanks to my mom. She apparently did much praying to many different angels, guardians, and virgins over newly bought candles so that we could make it to Cali safely.

Thanks mom. I'll miss you.